Sunday, September 13, 2009

authentic blog?

mmmh, where to start? Have been enjoying writing our diary and have been thinking about, if I write on here when I don't feel happy. Is it 'bad' not to feel happy and should I only write on here when I feel absolutely positive and happy? Well, then it wouldn't be an authentic blog/diary, would it? We all feel up and down all the time, flowing from one mood to the other, and I think I will write about that too, as it is neither good or bad, but just is as it is.
When I write about how I feel, it is more to process it, and also to look back on one day and read how it REALLY was .And parenting can be incredibly rewarding and also incredibly unrewarding (on days when everything you do as a Mum is not good enough, not appreciated and you are just whinged at all day....mmmh, who is the victim here ;-) ?)
So, how did I come to think about this all? Well, have had a bit of a tough afternoon/evening yesterday and this morning too. Besides the morning we hadn't gone out and by late afternoon Matti had all pent up energy, which he needed to release....he didn't want to go walking or cycling though...Lucille was also just crying and wanting to be on my arms and I felt quite overwhelmed. I was tired as I had very interrupted nights over the past weeks, with waking up every hour or so. Lucille has been teething, on and off, and both Matti and her were sick on and off as well. So all these factors combined, we were all going a bit crazy and just reacting. I didn't find my strength to stay centred, and if a Mum with small kids doesn't, it all goes haywire. The day didn't end that harmonious, with Matti not listening or waiting to anything I had suggested, me getting more and more frustrated, impatient and not accepting what was happening. He was very wild in the house, 'fishing'things with his new net, showing his love for Lucille in some very 'funny'ways and to be honest, I just felt really annoyed and helpless, as I didn't find the energy to shift it. Boy, was it good to finally lie in bed, everything quiet and just dozing off. I pondered a bit about what to learn from what had just happened, and how I could have responded differently, to not hurt Matti with my words. Anyway.....
Lucille had a much better night, and just my little friend woke me up at around 4.30 with his singing...if I find out where he sits, I'm gonna build a trap ;-). Why do adults wake up by bird songs and children don't???

Anyway, a new day, beautiful weather and it's sustainable house day. There will be 3 houses open in the village, a workshop about composting and several kids activities, sausage sizzle and pizza feast for the community members later on.
The night was very cool, now it's beautiful sunny and we are in shorts already.
There comes the first tour car, it's open on the sides so people can look out and they will all be driving by our house today and looking at it...
We will go and help out later...Lucille is just asleep.
She discovered how to open and close the toilet lit yesterday and loves to bang it down really hard :-). Have to watch what goes in there now.
Just made a veggie soup as well, so that I have some nourishing food ready for the next days. The BUS (Brisbane Unschooling Group) will meet close to here on Tuesday and a lot of people will stay for a night or two, camping. We are looking forward lots to catching up with them, as we haven't seen them since early this year, when we still lived in Flinders View.
Ok, got to get going, will post later or tomorrow, how the day was and publish some photos as well.
We are all missing Justin, and I think that's why Matti feels a bit beside himself sometimes as well...and me too, and voilá, kabooom :-)!

Have a beautiful day!

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I'm a mother of two beautiful children. We are parenting in an autonomous way, not schooling and learning by living, taking each other seriously and all of our needs into account. So our life is very rich and exciting as we have the time to 'smell the roses' :-) and live in the moment, 'going with the flow'. We are part of a sustainable community. It's wonderful to live in harmony with the earth and for the children to grow up conscious of their environment. I'm a Yoga Instructor and BodyTalk Practitioner (www.bodytalksystem.com). BodyTalk stimulates your body’s innate ability to heal itself on all levels and no other modality has ever made that much sense to me...hence why I've become a practitioner:-). I also work as an independent Sales Advisor for the Learning Ladder, promoting and selling educational books and toys, facilitating get togethers in people's homes or public centres, as the products are only available via direct selling and it's something that the kids and I do together to 'earn' our home library. With two little children, my main yoga practice is 'living my yoga' in whatever I do.

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